Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Blog #1

Having been encouraged by literally several people to start writing about what it is like to be in a quite-good-but-nevertheless-fairly-unsuccessful-band, I have decided to start doing so out of boredom and vanity. In fact there are several reasons why I feel this might be a good idea, thusly;

  • Gigs can often be dangerous, disastrous, exhilarating, hilarious, soul-destroying, infuriating, vexing or sometimes just okay. We've been playing between two and seven gigs a week without break for over three years now, but other than a few shaky videos, watermarked photographs (more on these to come) and muffled recordings, no real record of our various misadventures exists. Whilst posterity hardly demands that a more detailed record should me made, I may personally become less of an insufferable dullard in years to come if I am able to recall more easily “that time we really had them rocking in Skelmersdale.”
  • The Music Industry is full of bullshitters, backstabbers, bootlickers and burglars. In the earlier days each crushing disappointment that befell us at the hands of these deviants left me disconsolate. Over time I have learned to simply find it funny that there exists in the flesh so many gargoyles to whom one must crawl and simper for such petty rewards.
  • We are also fortunate to meet lots of very nice people and see lots of great bands, so if any of my inane wafflings help draw a little attention to those few altruistic promoters or the genuinely creative and original artists that exist in abundance then the whole exercise will become worthwhile, in my own tiny mind at least. 
  • Whilst I hardly envisage a raft of loyal readers, I hope that the blog (and I’m certain that that’s what this is) will be a regular and enjoyable read for those who come back. This will also make me a more formidable conversationalist at dinner parties when I will be able to brag uncouthly about having a media presence. Incidentally, I have yet to attend an actual dinner party (I presume they eat round a table at them, rather than off the knee) and a further hope is that this blog will open some doors.
So that’s it, my justification for being vain, vulgar and self-dramatizing. And with that out of the way let me kick things off proper with an introduction to the protagonists of this piece, namely my band, Cheap Cuts. Firstly there’s me, Gareth, the singer, guitarist and lyricist. I’m sure you have already deduced that I’m a fairly insufferable and bitter individual and that’s really all there is to say about me. Next the group’s bass player and also an excellent vocalist in his own right, Fush, without whom we wouldn’t have a band or ever make any money or have anywhere to live as he organises everything from bookings to hotels to petrol money. He is also my housemate and whilst most people’s perception of him is that he is the funny one, cheerful and personable, a further aim of this blog is to expose him as the miserable, defeatist, pessimistic martyr that he is. 
Completing our merry band is Joe Bennett (full name always required,) our Drummer. A genuine oddity, Joe Bennett seems to think it is actually the sixties, riding his Vespa around Warrington looking out for rockers to "rumble" with. He also pretends that he is from Birmingham, speaking in a faux brummie accent and regularly breaking into Aston Villa chants apropos of nothing.
So there we are, I feel I’ve set us up as well as I’m capable of doing. This week we are playing at the Portland in Southport on the Friday, then at Gulliver’s in Manchester on the Saturday so if anything amusing happens I’ll be back next week to wax lyrical. “Ooh a string broke and I was sweaty but I forgot my towel” I’ll probably say. Take Care and thanks for reading.